According to researchers, 97 percent of us have a morning routine. Drinking coffee is crucial for about half of us, myself included. Routines help us prepare for a successful day and give us a sense of control. They set the tone for the rest of the day. Although we can’t dictate everything that will happen in the next 24 hours, we can feel as if we are in control for those few moments during our morning ritual. In the past, I’ve focused my morning routine on my body’s needs (showering, dressing, eating breakfast, etc.). But lately, I’ve added a potent new element—the proactive staging of my outlook for whatever the day may bring. Creating a Mental Umbrella Each morning, I

Are you lucky? Do your friends tell you how fortunate you are? A friend once told me I was so lucky that if I fell off a cliff, I’d land in a passing convertible and continue on my way. I’ve always felt lucky because so many providential events have occurred. But when I asked others around me if they felt the same way, I got quite a few nos. Only then did I realize my perspective wasn’t shared. Yet I cannot feel anything but extremely blessed when so many serendipitous events have occurred throughout my life. Not One Big Happy Event after the Other I could easily adopt the opposite outlook since I’ve had my share of heartbreaks, disappointments, losses,

Enculturation is a mostly unconscious process by which we learn the ways of our society by living in and observing it. Enculturation also results from the education, practices, and values of our culture. These unconscious patterns are internalized so that what we do routinely seems “normal.” According to the Boston University School of Public Health, culture might be considered “‘the way of life for an entire society.’ As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, art, norms of behavior, such as law and morality, and systems of belief.” Given our history, we think what is true for us is true for everyone. The firm belief in the rightness of one’s perspective, frequently grounded in religion, often leads

Jeffrey Kluger wrote “Why Americans Are Uniquely Afraid to Grow Old” for Time magazine in response to the growing number of seniors who seem to be fighting a losing battle with time. Anti-aging strategies can include denial, medical interventions, and childlike regression, to name only a few. Kluger notes that by 2030, about 20 percent of the US population will be retirement age. He points out the implications: “That’s an awful lot of old people confronting the physical, cognitive, and emotional frailties that come with age, not to mention the cold reality that the older you get, the closer you come to, well, the end of the line.” As we age, we can struggle to fight against Kluger’s in-your-face dead-end

Unmet expectations seem to be a recurring and inevitable consequence of human relationships. Therefore, handling them with minimal distress is essential for our well-being and sustaining relationships over the long haul. Perhaps I’m a slow learner because it has taken me years to recognize that my expectations are internally generated beliefs about how others should respond to my needs and admit that they frequently have no basis in reality. Entitlement and Narcissism I’ve come to realize that expectations are incredibly self-centered. The person who creates them believes the world should revolve around their needs. Expectations, in this sense, are the ultimate expression of entitlement and narcissism. My late husband always set his expectations very low or at zero to avoid

The idealized view of mothers that Hallmark cards so eloquently express in pictures and words is one I have never experienced. I never called my mother by anything other than her given name. Growing up and even as an adult, I never called her “Mother” or “Mom.” Lest you think I’m criticizing my mother, I hasten to add that I’m grateful that she gave me life. And I’m also thankful for the qualities she passed on to me, among them, my willingness to work hard, my sewing skills, my appreciation of music, and my determination and resilience. For sure, my mother did the best she could, given that she was orphaned as a young girl and forced to care for