Before moving to France, I studied French using Duolingo, a free online application that teaches dozens of languages. I tried to practice twenty minutes daily but didn’t always meet my goal. Still, I had learned a bit about nouns, grammar, pronouns, and verbs when I arrived three years ago.
I probably spoke at the level of a preschooler, always in the present tense because I hadn’t memorized any other verb tenses.
As a result of my studies, I could read basic French reasonably well. However, I had a hard time understanding the spoken language. When French people speak, words slide into one another (the term is “elision”), and I could not distinguish one word from the next.
In addition, the structure of French grammar is different than English. But most difficult of all were the dozens of variations of a single verb, depending on the subject and tense. I tried to memorize the most common ones, and even that was tough. Plus, each noun is either masculine or feminine, which determines the word’s spelling.
The logic of whether a noun is feminine or masculine escaped me. Voiture, meaning “car,” is feminine. So we would say la voiture. But the French word car, which means the same thing, is masculine. So we would say le car. Of course, this involves memorization and repetition.
But understanding the words as they are spoken remains a problem for me unless the person speaks slowly.
The good news is that many words (approximately 1,700) in French and English (cognates) are very close or identical in spelling and meaning. For example, the French feminine form of the word “intensive” is intensive; the masculine form is intensif. But even if I got the masculine or feminine ending wrong, the listener would probably know what I was trying to say.
Shortly after my arrival, my daughter-in-law’s parents invited me to spend a week with them for a “French language intensif.” They live slightly over an hour away in the village of Russan, also in the Occitanie region. Since I am very fond of my son’s in-laws, it was an offer I looked forward to accepting.
Their extensive property contains a beautiful pool, a goldfish pond, a four-story restored (over 200-year-old) stone house once used as a sheep barn, and lovely landscaping. One of their daughters, their son-in-law, and their granddaughter live in a separate home at one end of the property.
Alas, for three years, all sorts of events conspired to keep me from accepting the invitation—illness, prior commitments, houseguests, vacation schedules, and so on. But at last, in July, the stars aligned, and I began my experiment by speaking only French for a week.
I stayed in a small cottage that met all my needs. I had a kitchen, walk-in shower, closet, living room area, and patio with a view of the pool and beyond to the river below and the mountains in the distance.
We didn’t spend time poring over grammar rules or memorizing verb tenses. Instead, we lived normally, except I had to communicate in French whenever I needed something (such as more coffee) or to express my thoughts. We went sightseeing, visited Uzes, had dinner at a hotel training culinary and hospitality students, and took walks.
On one walk, my host and I headed into the center of the small village to buy a baguette for our lunch. Because of conversations with my host’s friends and neighbors on the way, it took us easily a half-hour to walk the short distance. We took a different path home, and that walk took even longer. I gained a real sense of life in a tiny French village.
At the end of the week, I wasn’t sure that I had made any progress in my language skills despite their assurances that I had. I returned to my life in Castelnau-le-Lez, expecting to continue my slow progress toward fluency.
Because of a medical crisis, however, I was stuck in a bed in a French hospital for a number of days. Most of the doctors spoke English, but not so for the nursing staff and other personnel. Once again, I was forced to speak French despite my keen awareness of my limitations.
But I was delightfully surprised! Although I didn’t think I had made much progress during my week in Russan, I got by just fine in the hospital with the French-speaking staff. I will admit we had some good laughs when either a nurse or I stumbled as we tried to communicate. But we always managed to get the job done.
At one point, I apologized to an attendant, saying, “I do not understand or speak French.” I was embarrassed that I hadn’t acquired fluency after living here for three years. He responded that I speak French well for someone who doesn’t speak French. We both laughed. That was a breakthrough for me. Someone had made a joke in French, and I understood it!
The best part of my experience is that I do not fear getting around alone now. Before, I was too shy and wouldn’t risk embarrassment by speaking French when I went into a shop. Now, although I am aware I’m not fluent, I’m not afraid to try to speak French. To have that reticence disappear is a gift.
I can’t close without thanking my son’s in-laws for their hospitality during my week. I also thank them for their patience and generous assistance in my learning project. Their instruction helped me overcome my fear of speaking French. How to repay their kindness escapes me at the moment. But indeed, I will find a way.
All photos from Canva