When you talk out loud to yourself, are you engaging in a healthy mental exercise? Or do you worry that the practice means you are one French fry short of a Happy Meal?
The dividing line between normal and crazy may depend on whether you are “erratic or muttering” or if you hear responses from imaginary persons. In extreme cases, self-talk may indicate a mental problem, like schizophrenia.
Are You a Self-Talker?
For most of us, talking aloud to ourselves, referred to as “self-talk,” is normal at any age and quite common—even healthy.
How many people self-talk? I couldn’t find a precise number, but I expect the percentage would go up if we counted the people who say an occasional expletive. After all, who hasn’t cursed when they accidentally hook a toe on a table leg or miss the nail with a hammer and smash a finger instead?
Mark Twain observed that “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” In this assertion, he anticipated the findings of researchers decades later.
Five Benefits of Self-Talk
I’ve categorized five ways self-talk can be useful:
- Improved Focus: If you’re looking for your keys, for example, it helps to repeat aloud “keys” while you’re searching. In research on whether self-directed speech impacted visual performance, a study confirmed that saying the name of the item out loud improved the chance of finding the object and shortened the time spent searching.
- Problem-Solving: Externalizing difficult situations and talking through various solutions can aid in putting the problem in perspective and plotting a way forward.
Researchers report that self-talk “can help us to plan what we are about to do and to regulate a course of action once it has started; it can give us a boost in keeping information in mind about what we are supposed to be doing, and in psyching ourselves up for action in the first place.”
- Reassurance and Affirmation: Admitting to yourself aloud that you are having a tough time relieves some of the emotional burden. It’s as if you are conversing with your best friend, who comforts and encourages you.
“You can do it!” is an example of what a person might say aloud when challenged to meet a daunting goal.
- Reduced Loneliness: How many widows (myself included) talk to their deceased spouse? Perhaps we ask for advice or just share the latest news. Whatever the reason for loneliness, talking aloud helps. One of the theories used in understanding self-talk links loneliness and social isolation to the need for self-talk.
- Relief from Stress: A well-timed swear word, just like laughing, can release stress. For sure, constant swearing is boorish and in bad taste. But the selective use of a swear word during a difficult moment is both human and beneficial. In experiments during which subjects were required to endure pain, researchers found that “Swearing increased pain tolerance, increased heart rate and decreased perceived pain.”
There may be more benefits to self-talk, but these were the five that I found from researching the topic and also asking individuals about whether they talked to themselves and why they did so.
Writing as a Form of Self-Talk
When I came to France three years ago, I was terribly lonely. I missed my life in Nevada County and my closest friend, my late husband. I also missed many other friends. I didn’t speak even the limited French I now speak. Because of my limitations, I was afraid to venture out.
To fill the void, I wrote four fictional autobiographical novels, starting with Blackbird and ending with The First and Last Lesson.
In retrospect, I realized the truth in a quote from gay activist Marty Rubin: “Writing is talking to yourself—with the hope of being overheard.” I still am writing, I still talk out loud to myself, but I also have a few close French friends.
Self-Talk in 2025
If your constitution won’t allow you to begin the new year without making a resolution, here’s my suggestion. Resolve to talk positively aloud to yourself during the new year. Resolve to encourage the self who is listening. Resolve to use self-talk to beef up your courage as you face (as everyone else faces) an uncertain future.
And if an occasional swear word pops out, forgive yourself. And remember: it’s good for your heart.
Wish Yourself a Happy New Year!
Ayobami Adebayo, a Nigerian prize-winning author of novels, says that “a large part of being human centers on the state of being alone, and we try to mitigate that in so many ways.”
One of the simplest, most helpful ways to mitigate loneliness is to talk aloud to ourselves. And we can start by wishing ourselves a Happy New Year.
If you would like a free e-book of Blackbird, one of Carole Carson’s fictional autobiographical novels, send her an email: CaroleCarson41@gmail.com.
All photos from Canva